Sarah Palin knows how I feel when you're down to that last game and you're on the verge of winning and then, boom, an upset. She was so close to winning her "election pool" this week. I thought Hoffman was a lock. I figured Christie could have went either way, but after Christie won, I thought for sure Sarah would have won that last race and banked her political winnings so maybe she could become president some day.
Last week, Newt told Sarah not to go with Hoffman and my friend Mike told me not to pick the Rams. I just hate when that happens!
After several beers and a few kicked chairs, I sat myself down and gave myself a real good talking to. I said: self, listen up. What would Sarah Palin or Ronald Reagan say? The cause goes on. Don't get cynical because look at yourself and what you were willing to do, and recognize that there are millions and millions of football fans out there that want what you want, that want it to be that way, that want it to be a perfect day in the football pool.
1976 Presidential Run ("Don't Get Cynical" speech is at 6:40 into the video)
All I ask for is a victory for common sense and football sanity. I'm not going to quit. I'm just going to advance in a different direction, that's all. I'm not picking the Giants this week and I'm not picking the Cardinals either. Those days are over. I'm going rogue!
If I'm going to beat a girl and talk the trash talk, then I have to be willing to walk the trash walk (okay that didn't come out right, but it's Palinesque in its own way). If I die, football speaking of course, I’ll know that I have spoken up and I will speak up to thank people like Knute Rockne who honored Ronald Reagan when he said "go out there and win one for the Gipper!"
I'm not going to just hang in there and go along to get along just to have a few wins. I'm going to stand up and speak up, and be bold and demand that football fans be prudent in what they say about the Cowboys or any team for that matter (unless they're trashing the Redskins of course). Forget the political correctness… We're so afraid to make bold picks and instead choose our teams so cautiously that our whole pool loses meaning, and we lose effectiveness, and then we lose hope because we start thinking that only dumb receptionists who pick their teams out of a hat are winning the pool and that people like my friend Richard who does 10 pools a week to hedge his bets is only worried about their pool numbers looking good and attracting cash for their next bid so that they can hold on to some title and some position in the sports gambling world.
I'll call the press even when my handlers tell me not to. I don't give a crap if they slaughter a turkey behind me while I give my picks on camera! I'm not going to let some late night comedy jerk bring my kid into this by saying something like, well Patrick's son made these picks during the 7th inning of the Yankee game last night. Keith Olbermann can go on every night, call me worst person in the world and make fun of my picks all he wants. The liberal media can accuse me of having Bill Kristol make my picks for me when I win.
I don't care.
I'll write a book about my football picks. I'll go on Oprah if I have to. I bet you Greta Van Susteren likes my picks, especially when I pick the Packers! I'm no pinhead, I'm a Patriot, damn it. And I will stand tall and let O'Reilly, Hannity, Rush, Beck all know that I will never compromise my principles just to win a football pool. I will do the honorable thing and pick the teams I know in my heart are going to win.
Am I going to be victorious this week? You betcha! Win, baby win!
Week 9 Power Picks
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