Van Palin Trashes Silver Spoon Oscar Suite

They were raucous and wild. The entourage, rednecks in Carhartts with grease still under their fingernails and the girls a wreck, their hair so mussed that it required a full washing and blowout. The leader of the group, Sarah Van Palin started gobbling up goodies everywhere she went, taking watches, Ipods, headsets, jewelry. It was reminiscent of the wild Straight Talk Express Tour of 2008 where Van Palin greeted roadies at the door in nothing but a towel and demanded clothes, clothes and more clothes.

Van Palin, known for her wild Diet Dr. Pepper and Red Bull binges, just couldn't be stopped. The place was picked dry like a carcass on the side of a buzzard filled road. Rock legend tells of a wild woman who once bit the head off of a Senator and who often would go off the set list and start chastizing a presidential candidate about palling around with terrorists and whipping her crowds into a frenzy where her adoring fans would chant "Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!" until finally security would have to pull her from the crowd who clamoured for her autograph.

After losing the biggest contest in her life, an event that works similar to American Idol (a bunch of ignorant people vote for the wrong person), she was distraught. She left the stage with a tear in her eye and went home to Alaska where she slaughtered a bunch of turkeys on live TV and shot a bunch of wolves. At one event, in a coffee laced stupor, she said "I ain't gonna sit down and shut up. If I die, I die," telling the media in essence to eff off.

Van Palin also got involved with a motorcycle gang

Van Palin Boozing it Up Poolside in Miami

She was so out of hand at this point that she had to quit her job and go into "rehab" where her assignment was to reflect on her life and write about it. But things only got worse when she got out, starting with a wild tour to promote "Going Rogue" and culminating in the Silver Spoon swag spree. That same night, she performed on the Tonight Show where she tried to take over the show. She demanded Jay Leno's desk! Van Palin was no stranger to The Tonight Show. A couple of months before, when Conan O'brien was host, Van Palin stormed in on a surprised William Shatner who was mocking her on stage and did her own version of Shatner, mocking him back.

But, the show must go on. Van Palin did a gig with Rick Perry. She is scheduled to tour with Michele Bachmann Turner Overdrive and do a reunion gig with John McCain.

Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman himself, is a big fan of Van Palin. She also hangs with Gretchen Wilson. In Richmond, VA, Hank Williams, Jr. warmed up for Palin and performed "McCain, Palin Tradition." I was there and it was rowdy.

Rumors of Van Palin doing a show similar to "The Osbournes" turned out to be untrue.

Not since the days of Ronald Reagan, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin have we seen this kind of behavior.

-bloggers note: this is all written with nothing but the greatest of affection for Governor Palin. The sarcasm is strictly directed at the media who, regardless of their works of fiction and made up stories still couldn't write something as good as this!